Everyone should journal

At some point in their life.

It can be used to blow off steam, a full on self-discovery, or a quick gratitude fix…

I started journaling at 11.

Up until recently, I kept every single piece of paper. I had a black binder with the letters “XY” doodled in front, along with my favorite Kurt Cobain quotes. I was fangirling over abc family’s KyleXY at the time, and my Kurt obsession stemmed from reading Never Fade Away by Dave Thompson.

Kurt Cobain is an inspiration not only for his strength and individuality but also because of the person he was. He changed music forever and left quite the impression while doing so.

 I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.

He used his fame to his advantage and publicly fought things he saw as wrong. He is an inspiration because he did what he thought was right and did not care how people viewed him. Yes, he did make mistakes but everyone has. He was a very depressed person. He tried to be better, but it’s not always that easy. You can’t fix everything with a bunch of pills. I am not justifying that what he did was right, but he is still an inspiration to me. He still was a good person with many great characteristics, he just couldn’t deal.

What drawing is to me now – writing claimed it first.

Life was perfect.

I had so much to be grateful for, apparently it wasn’t enough to avoid the destruction I had caused, the incident with Jordan = my tipping point. I fell down the rabbit hole and started to wonder what do I have to be grateful for? I was alive, yes. Some may say that’s enough, but they are probably people with a far more positive mindset than I had.

I was drowning in self-pity and self-loathing.

I couldn’t see or find purpose in anything.

When shit really hit the fan – mentally speaking, I was holed up in my closet(spacious btw) with 15 years worth of memories and secrets. I started ripping them to shreds. I can’t regret what I did but I do miss the memories lost in those pages. I got the help I needed, the journey of hope and healing is forever. I still have a lot to be grateful for. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a life, I make do and mend.

Start journaling.

Feel what you write.