What do you think is holding you back?

If you pay attention to your life, you’ll see patterns.

Every once in a while I will fall into this same pattern of assigning blame or using some of those less pleasant things that happen in life, as an excuse.

Take a nice long look within – what’s holding you back is yourself.

It’s you and resentment, one of the stubborn emotions that’s difficult to just “turn off.” You use it as your go to excuse to put yourself through the never-ending negative loops. Try to give a little more love and not waste too much time re-living those situations. Those small “mistakes” are just a small part of who you are.

Occasionally, we fear things that at first seem positive, why? Because with success comes more responsibilities and having to take risks. There’s really only one way to overcome fear. You feel it, and you just do those things that scare you. You’ll realize that a lot of your fears are baseless. It also helps to remember that fear is just a standard part of life and it’s something all of us feel.

We immerse ourselves in other people’s lives that we forget to live our own, guilty of being too concerned with what everyone else is doing. Other people can hold you back when they’re not even a part of your life, close relationships with people (friends/family) who discourage us, and those who have yet to find love, for example, often believe that being in a relationship is something that will finally complete them. Thinking, “there’s something missing in my life and only another person can make that feeling go away.”

Focus on yourself.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been single/out of the dating scene. Personally, I’ve been sitting on the bench for over two years and I’m in no rush to get back in, but I’ve learned so much about myself during and after my committed, traditionally monogamous relationship ended. I never thought I’d be the one to take the plunge first, but I did – it also made me realize modern monogamous relationships aren’t for me.

So before you worry about finding the one – in those moments you’re feeling lonely, ask yourself:

What do I want out of my life?

How can I grow?

What are some things that I’ve always wanted to try?

What’s stopping me from trying them now?

Explore your own feelings, emotions, fears. Look for things that will help you grow, things that will challenge you. Friendships and having love in your life is important, but ultimately, the relationship you have with yourself will always be one of the most important relationships in your life. The experiences we go through build up insecurities and limits, often making them all stronger. You waste your time waiting for something to change, something to click, for someone to save you; but the truth is – no one is coming to save you.

I asked IG crowd who their favorite characters were so I could put my last piece of sketch paper to use. I couldn’t pick just one, so I chose all of them (: