Tell Me Moore

I totally dropped off the face of the earth…again




It’s difficult to explain. Well, it’s more the fact that few will understand, but what’s livin’ without taking risks?

Say you’ve met someone.

They seem perfect.

You appreciate your time with them.

You seem to have a lot in common.

They’re charming, complimentary, and smart. They might be someone you haven’t known long — or maybe you haven’t even met them in person yet, but you can just tell that there’s a spark there. Or maybe you’ve been partners for a substantial period, enough to say with at least some certainty that you really “know” them. Whatever the specifics, you can’t help but be hopeful about your future with this person. When you’ve experienced great chemistry with someone, hopeful feelings arise about what can come next. From your perspective, there is never-ending potential for this person to provide everything you could want in a relationship, and you for them. Without even realizing it, who you hope this person will be, the roles you could have in each other’s lives, and the myriad ways it can fill those roles can overtake the reality of who they are.

It can be utterly intoxicating to allow yourself to indulge in the fantasy of what you hope they are, like you’re walking on air. Without meaning to, you hope this person will be so wonderful that they will make up for everything that came before. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel hopeful. Hope is a powerful tool for getting through each day. Hope is an extremely important force of motivation and inspiration. It’s okay to be hopeful about anything that you want or desire to be different in your life. It’s even okay to have unrealistic hope (like the hope that this person will be perfect and have no flaws), as long as you recognize that your hope that they make up for the wrongs of your past is not based in reality. As long as you know that you’re being unrealistically hopeful about who they can be, that’s okay. It’s when you allow your hopeful feelings about this person to become real—when you think it based on your hope in reality—that hope can actually overpower reality.

You can’t deny that at some point, you will fall in love. This is an unnerving thing because you don’t know if it merely based this feeling on physical attraction and over-hyped emotion or something deeper and more trustworthy. You want to know if it is merely infatuation or if it is the real deal. Don’t settle for a relationship where somebody takes advantage of you, doesn’t respect your convictions, and couldn’t care less about what is important to you. Your partner should listen attentively when you speak and be concerned about making you feel respected and appreciated. Infatuation is blind. Infatuation ignores reality and refuses to see the imperfections that live in the object of its desire. You know someone merely infatuated you when you blind yourself to what lies before your eyes to preserve your feeling of attachment. The reason people say that love is blind because when people choose to love, they often see things in their stark reality but choose to love, anyway. The flaws that they see don’t affect their devotion to the people they love.

Nobody is perfect.

Being jaded to me doesn’t mean I’m over it. It’s more that I’ve become sick and tired after overindulging. We use our past as a filtering process or defense mechanism. I’ve learned with the latter – you deny yourself love and that’s the dumb route I’ve been on for 3 years.

I think about everything that played out and got us to where we are now. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. We finish each other’s sentences all the freaking time and he owes me like half a dozen cases of soda already. Thinking of him is like jumping off a really tall building; your head tells you, ‘Idiot you’re gonna die’ but your heart tells you ‘Don’t worry you can fly.’ I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates. It only sounded pretty in a poetry book.

Patrick has converted the cynic in me, and the sceptic turned ardent zealot.

I’ll see you soon again, Colorado.

In other news: